Here's the original text first:
Ang Sabi Ko Sa'Yo
Bumalong ang dagta
sa hiniwang kaymito.
Namuo sa talim
ng kutsilyo ang ilang patak.
Diyan ako naiwan, mahal,
at hindi sa laman.
- Benilda Santos
And here's my attempt of a translation:
I Tell YouResource: Tagalog-English Dictionary by L. English
Sap sprung forth
from the wounded fruit.
On the knife's blade,
a few drops congealed.
There I remained, my love,
not in the flesh.
I agree with Jonat that the Filipino version is still more beautiful. Translations cannot compete with the original anyway.
This is the second time a friend asked me to translate the poem. The first one was a Portuguese poem, Onde O Mar Acaba. No, I don't know Portuguese, my friend sent me the English version from which I derived my Filipino translation. Hehehe.
[June 6 update]
Added the word "my" before "love" and removed "and" to denote more emotion. Thanks to Pope for the suggestion and long discussion especially on that last action. O di ba, rhyme? Hehe.
Nakukulangan pa talaga ako sa translation ko. :( Pero masaya na rin ako na masaya si Jonat. :)
beautiful. i like it. wait, i love it. thank you.
ReplyDeletewow, thanks for appreciating it. i wasn't too happy with the translation kasi.
ReplyDeleteyou're welcome :)