since i was in grade school, i was recognized for being an honor student. perhaps that led me to the belief that i can be good, that i've done something right in my life.
but life ain't school. there are no written exams to take and formulae to solve. i've not been good in recitation and hated the anticipation of it. perhaps that's what i'm having now... a bad recitation day.
i've not been prepared on the questions i'm answering, on the difficulties i'm hurdling. yeah, that must be it. i must be on the other side of the room, standing due to misunderstood gutteral sounds coming out of my mouth. at least i was not foaming. *wink*
i don't like boiling blood, especially if it's mine. i am not a warfreak; i've always been calm. that's why i hate feeling this way.
if i was incapable, perhaps i am. i'm no expert in what i'm doing. i'm just being myself. if that's not enough then find another one who is. i won't kiss ass or play the image of someone who knows what he's doing even if he doesn't. i'm not a very good liar and i can't lie that much.
if i was not doing anything then perhaps what i'm doing is just nothing. just tell me instead. i don't need to hear it from someone else. i would understand if it were someone else who said it, but it was you, of all people who should know. i guess i should have known better.