Monday, April 10, 2006

in the absence of someone

i'm not ashamed to say i miss having someone... a special someone... someone who'd hug me in my tears... someone who'd laugh with the silliness of things... someone who'd understand my insanities... someone who'd just be there and be silent with me... someone who'd share my dreams... someone who'd stay...

yet there's no one... guess that's why i feel quite lonely sometimes... guess that's why i feel i have to feel being in love even without someone particular to love right now... guess that's why i'm confused with my feelings...

i know i don't need a boyfriend right now... i even think i'm not ready even after almost 3 years of being available again. i feel i'm just being selfish to want to be in a relationship.

what i need now is a best friend with whom i can entrust my whole self. someone who will fit the features i've stated above. but nowadays time seems so short... conversations seem so shallow... i just do hope that with my current best friend, he could help me understand and accept my situation. well, i believe he's already helping me indirectly. and i hope he doesn't get tired of my pettiness and frustrations.

i want to spend more time with him. but i know i can't. we're not just kids anymore running around in circles till we find our destination. we've become adults, responsible and accountable of our actions. how sad to be preoccupied with unnecessary things.

to my best friend, thanks for being there though you don't show much of your affection. i love you and i hope we'd still hold hands till we get old enough for arthritis.

1 comment:

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